May 30th: Turtles 3 (1) - Island Bay 2 (1)
The webmeister in action, as Phildo (ref) looks on.
Queens Birthday weekend means different things
to different people. For some (Bobby and Christine for instance), it's a chance to don the
gloves and pearls and drink a sherry in honour of Liz. For others it's an opportunity to
appease the wife/girlfriend/mistress and shovel them off to an exotic destination for
three days. Or take them to the Vietnam Vets Day Parade in town. Anyway, for those of us
secure enough in our relationships (perceived or otherwise) Saturday was the perfect
occasion to put paid to one the most glaring anomalies in Turtle footballing history.
The lads arrived at Wakefield Park with very much a makeshift look about them. The back
four was decimated by unavailability and injury. The Pieman was away meeting Merryn's
distant relatives. Dodger was attending the North Island shuffleboard championships in
Taupo (driving 50 Kph the whole way). Bobby was injured. Terry had last nooky commitments
with a soon-to-be-ex-girlfriend. Rat II Hambleton, inspirational skipper and usual scribe
(but back next week folks), was in Auckland. Apparently Riverdance takes precedent over
soccer these days. Fortunately our midfield and strike force was relatively intact. At the
back, GT, Nicko and PK joined Big Si in defensive duty.
The team congregated and compared illnesses and injuries. Acting skipper Big Si laid down
the law (so to speak) in a team talk surprisingly absent of expletives. It wasn't bad
either. The Turtles had plenty to play for. We were 0 for 3 against this side, including
blowing a 3-1 lead last year. Island Bay also had a reputation for some dodgy refereeing,
so in that respect we caught an early break: they had eleven players. Our ref.
The Turtles played into a strongish wind and began well. We attacked strongly in the first ten minutes and received an early reward. Wal knocked a corner across the goal that was missed by all except a lone defender who obviously didn't fancy the prospect of chasing after the ball for a throw in. The resulting handled ball was as blatant as it was bewildering for both sides. The laid back response from Island Bay was also commendable - would we have behaved the same way?. Simon G slotted the penalty (our first this season). 1-0.
Island Bay came back strongly. They stopped
playing long through-balls (which the wind was catching), and began to rely on their
speedy forwards to trouble us at the back. Snout made some good saves, and Nicko (who was
coughing up a semen-like substance for most of the match) and big Si were defending
resolutely. The Turtles were also playing good football on attack. Don, Wal and Spratty
were combining well on the right and we came close to scoring on several occasions. We
then caught another break: one of their players hobbled off. They were down to 10 players.
This just seemed to energise the oppo though and soon after they equalised. A good cross
from the right seemed to hit their striker on the hand. It dropped to his foot and he
wrong footed Snouter with the resulting shot. 1-1. Both sides had further opportunities to
score, but at halftime the game was deadlocked.
Big Si again did a good job of revving up the troops at halftime. Don decided to forgo the
team talk in favour of a groping session with his main squeeze. Visions of Georgie Best
came briefly to mind. Anyway, the second half started well for us. We created several good
chances, the best of which fell to Simon G who hit wide with just the goalie to beat. He
later claimed the ball bobbled in front of him. Yeah right. Spratty was having a great
game, but still proved to be clueless in front of goal (with shooting like that, he
wouldn't score in a game of Aussie Rules). The effects of playing with ten players began
to show on IB, and the Turtles were taking over. And then they scored. Another cross from
the right (my side incidentally) found the defence asleep. Their player slipped through
and slotted it under Snout. 2-1 Island Bay. The heads went down momentarily, and thoughts
of an undeserved loss crossed our minds (well mine anyway). But the Turtles are made of
sterner stuff these days. Within ten minutes we were back on even terms. A poorly directed
pass saw me take possession on the left, beat a player and cross for Simon G to head home
from close range. 2-2 with plenty of time remaining. We were controlling the game now. Don
was winning the ball with huge tackles in midfield and Nicko/Si were winning the aerial
battle at the back.
Big Si then took exception to a suspect foot up tackle by their midfielder. He responded by cynically scything him down from behind. Some fisticuffs ensued, and it must be said that Si would be an excellent candidate for David Tua's next opponent. A short time later the Turtles went ahead for good. An excellent cross from Spratty found Naz unmarked in front of goal. The goalie partially saved, but Naz was able to tap in the rebound. 3-2 Turtles. Spratty almost scored from a spectacular overhead minutes from the end, which led many to suspect he was a more potent scoring threat facing away from the goal. No more serious scoring opportunities arose,so the Turtles walked away with a well deserved three points.