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August 7th: Turtles 4 (3) - Petone Celtics 2 (1)What does a champion do when faced with the prospect of playing a vital game against tough opposition to clinch the championship ? Does he a/. bugger off to Sydney for a bonk b/. bugger off to Seattle to chat to Bill Gates c/. bugger off to Turangi to male-bond with our ex-sponsor whilst hacking around a golf course d/. bugger off somewhere else to play club golf e/. bugger off to Christchurch because his partner orders him to f/. bugger off to Christchurch for no apparent reason on the Friday evening, not telling the captain, but telling Spratty and asking him to keep it quiet because otherwise it would appear in "those bloody match reports" g/. rush back from Bali, arriving 24 hours late, or h/. not bugger off anywhere, turn up early, play a blinder in defence and be rewarded for it with M-o-M, and a free pint (or soft drink) in the Petone clubrooms after the game. Me thinks if you are Sensational Si Law, h/. is the correct answer. Despite playing like a pair of pants all season, the big fella was superb, being a one-man defence a lot of the time. After ten minutes, when we realised that Tel wasn't playing and someone else would have to head the ball, Si L stepped up. He also made numerous crucial last-ditch tackles. The opening goal of the game, after 37 seconds, was not his fault. It was Snouters. Spratty gave him a back pass from the corner, and with plenty of time to first time it up field, Snouter tried a bit of dribbling. He then hacked it against the oncoming attacker, and it rebounded nicely for another attacker to pop into the open goal. Oh dear. But the FTFC are certainly resilient these days, and despite Snouter trying to repeat his antics a short time later, we started to get back into the game. When we did manage to get the ball up to Si G, Gordie or Tony, they held it up skilfully and took players on. The shots were a bit wayward, but from one of his runs Gordie crossed instead of shot, and Si G expertly bundled it in on the far post. Five minutes later Spratty got bored, and went forward (from sweeper). The oppo seemed mesmerised by his complete lack of speed and agility, and let him approach the box. Tony made a run, and Spratty laid it at his feet. Tony finished with his left, and then set off on a Ronaldo run to celebrate. This all looked pretty good into the wind, but there was still a lot of hairy moments at the back. The oppo right wing was running wings around the skip at left back, but fortunately his shooting and crossing were appalling. Through the middle, "Gob" was posing problems when he ran at us, but Spratty and Si L made some excellent tackles. Gob didn't enjoy this, and hacked at Spratty from behind, inflicting damage on his calf. Spratty did not enjoy this, so stomped on Gob. Gob threw some mud at Spratty. Spratty laughed at him. Being naturally niggly bastards, the oppo saw this as a sign to get started on the niggle, and regularly had a go at Gordie when he had the ball. Luckily Gordie was too good for them, and after another collect, turn and run he put a lovely through ball into the path of another Tony run. Tony displayed incredible agility and skill to flick it over the last defender, and smash it into the far corner of the net, again with his left. This did justify a Ronaldo run, so off he went. 3-1, into the wind; you beauty. At the other end Snouter was still having problems, but made some great saves. One of these was in spite of being barged over by the thug who was playing up front for the oppo. At half-time, an dreadful, strawberry something. Despite that, we started the second half ok, but didn't create any chances. The oppo had a new short quick guy on, who came over to further torment the skip. Luckily, he couldn't shoot or cross either. After ten minutes we ran out of puff, and it was siege time. None of them wanted to shoot though, and Snouter only had a few powder puff shots to deal with. They had a few corners, but did nothing with them. Spratty wandered off up front, never to return, and GT and Si G came back to help out. Darrin also did some sterling defensive work. When they did get the ball, Tony and Gordie were having a good time, but lacked support. Phildo, having his best game of the season (after earlier in the year being described by Spratty as playing "like a bag of nails) got forward a bit though, and from harrying their defence, got the ball. He laid it on to Gordie, who jinked around a prone defender and slotted it inside the near post. "We are ace, we are cool, etc, etc, etc". We still had some defending to do though, and with everybody starting to fade, this became tricky. Spratty, Gordie, Cooky and the skipper were getting cramp, but Si Law was an absolute rock, and was playing like a man among little boys. The oppo got one back when Gob had a complete speculator at a ball bouncing around in the area. The wind took it, and it curled away from Snouter into the top far corner. Fluke. Other than that there weren't many more openings at either end, Spratty and Tony taking every chance to kick the ball as far away as possible to waste time. Finally the end came. Championese, championese, lalalalalala. No champagne; we think it was in Christchurch. Had the obligatory drink in enemy territory, then lots more at the BB. |
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