April
8th: Turtles 4 (2) - Stokes Valley 1 (0)
Match reporter : Pomme Lang
The famous 'Waterside Turtles' kept up their 100% record in Wellington Division 5 at the weekend, with a well fought 4-1 win over Stokes Valley at the 'Stadium of fight' (Karori Park)....With a number of players unavailable due to injuries and other commitments the Turtles put on an impressive display.
Shawn Brock recovered from a recurring knee injury to bulk up the midfield. He eventually won the 'man of the match' award, and was also presented with some Scottish alcoholic juice and a free breakfast at a place called 'TRAX'. I've heard they do really good TOAST platters there................
Wal was still suffering from a slip disk in his back-and we are still to find out the true cause. His other half was unavailable for interviewing and was concerned that she was to blame for being too rough with him one night!!!!
The Turtles managed to fly in Craig the Scottish international ( that's what the guys at the pub call him anyway!) for the match, trying to persuade him to sign a 3-year contract. He would definitely be suited to winter conditions in NZ as his skin is allegedly allergic to strong sun!!! (See the 'Banned' photos for evidence....)
The Stalwart Snouter was also missing due to other commitments-his daughter twisting his arm, explaining that her birthday is only once a year, "why do you have to go and play soccer today dad??" So in came Matt who done brilliantly between the sticks and has now put Snouter's place in jeopardy. Catching the ball cleanly was one note pointed..............
On with the match anyway. The first half was a bit scrappy, partly due to some dodgy refereeing !! Both teams were battling it out and getting frustrated when the decisions weren't going their way. Dodge for the Turtles told the referee to be more consistent, and the referee's reply was, "do YOU want to referee the game". Dodge has now been reported to the F.A. for abusive language!!!
The Turtles managed to go one-up in the first twenty minutes-a quick break away out of midfield, a low cross from Burmese International Livingstone( I presume) and a fumbled headed goal from Tony Garrett. The match started to open up a bit after that, and Stokes Valley were controlling the midfield with their number 74 ( should be playing the American game with that number on his back!) and the number 15.
Chances fell to the Turtles though and there was plenty of space, but SV decided to put a man-marker on Gordie, the other Scottish International. That led to more frustration, and then tackles and handbags were starting to fly. A foreign translator was needed to explain to the SV defenders what Gordie was saying to them. Everyone was confused when they realised the translator was Scottish!!!
The second goal came about 10 minutes before half time, and was created by the skilful Livingstone once more. He skipped and danced around the SV defence, avoided being brought down by a hefty challenge just inside the penalty box and laid it back for Gordie to guide into the net. Just before halftime the SV goalkeeper took a bad fall on his arm and was substituted between the sticks by a guy who had never played in goal in his whole life!!!
The Turtles team talk was quite straight forward.....for the English speaking players anyway!!! The juice helped the players rejuvenate and there were changes made at half time. Steve Lang came on for Livingstone, Simon G went up front and PK made an appearance.
The second half was a lot more entertaining for the fans, 7 in total, including the old guy who has been a Turtles season ticket holder for years. We interviewed him after the match and this is what he thought of the team, "Well, I've been coming here for years and things still haven't changed. The Turtles are still one of the best teams in the world. I like the look of the new goalkeeper as well......real class"
The Turtles took control in just the space of 10 minutes after kick off. Some nice play again in midfield created some open space, Gordie opened things up with a battering run and Simon G finished the ball off with a toe-poke finish. 3-0 to Waterside.....
Stokes Valley pulled a goal back soon after with a flowing passing move down the wings. The Turtles defence was left standing and the SV striker put the ball in the back of the net before you could say 'jammy bastard'!! 3-1 and there was still time for the game to go either way.
Tackles were still flying and Terry Hills suffered a heavy blow that would've knocked Mike Tyson off his feet. But no, Terry was back on his feet and fighting fit, leading his team to a convincing win.
The fourth and final goal for the Turtles sealed the win. It came in a very unfashionable manner. Darrin Wilkinson's wickedly curled corner kick got caught in the Wellington wind and swept it's away to the back post, and bounced off the woodwork then in....
There were no yellow or red cards to show from the match, just a lot of banter afterwards and the usual abuse. 'Tit of the day award' went to Simon G for his comments about European penalty taking. His European penalty effort during the match was saved by the feet of the goalkeeper, which just proves that the good old-fashioned NZ Turtles penalty kick is still unbeatable. Go back to basics lads.............
Stokes Valley will do well this season, as they are a competitive team. Things will be very interesting on the return match.... we shall see...
This win puts the Turtles very close to the top of the table. The lads will have a break next weekend as our scheduled oppo - Eastbourne - is still in the Chatham Cup competition. Well done the Waterside Turtles and keep up the good work.
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