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July 22nd: Turtles 3 (2) - Island Bay 2 (0)Straight
after this game the lads went to the clubrooms to watch the AB's beat the
Jaarpies, and after that the writer of this report got a ride home from Weasel.
The Weas had reffed our game (he was still hammied), and from that privileged
vantage point may have had an opinion that could have stretched out into a
half-way decent match report. After much deep thought, Weas pronounced the game
a complete load of crap, and recommend that this report should be short on the
matter. That out of the way, he then talked about his eldest son, who just
recently had started to walk unaided, a skill Weas senior is struggling to
master himself these days. To
say that this game was a complete load of crap was perhaps a bit harsh, in that
we did win, but well justified given the quality of the play. The oppo were
obviously missing several key players from our previous encounter, and were a
pretty motley group. Of the Turts that did manage to turn up, 3 were recovering
from colds / flu, two had big hangovers, one was a ringer who hadn't played for
7 years, one didn't want to be there, and one was still drunk from a three day
bender. The only saving grace was that Tony had, reluctantly, agreed to go in
goal. As kickoff time approached, the numbers on both sides were looking short,
and some hurried phone calls were made. It turned out that Tel's method of
confirming players left a little too much to chance, and Davey J and Phildo were
elsewhere, completely unaware of our plight. So
the game finally got started with ten a side, and two things immediately became
apparent. Firstly that the oppo were badly short on good players, and secondly
that our good players were severely hampered by any number of handicaps. The
game looked like a Div 12 game, apart from the odd bit of passing (in slow
motion) by us, and the (very rare) bit of interplay between Spratty and Gordie
up front. On such a big pitch, there was acres of room, and everyone had time
for a wank and a cup of tea before deciding what to do with the ball. The first
few times Gordie got the ball he strolled around the oppo defence but fluffed
his shots, and by the ten minute mark he was fed up. Spratty, who was our other
attacking player, got fed up with Gordie, and it is likely that these two have
now played their last game together. With
the benefit of a gusty wind, we spent a lot of time in their half, and there was
a fair amount of mucking around in their box. Our first goal came from a rather
shabby attack, that was matched by some even more shabby defending. The ball
bounced around near the penalty spot waiting for someone to do something
decisive. Murray obliged by getting in a cultured toe, and it curled into the
far corner. Not much was happening for Tony at the other end, so Stevie provided
him with a chance to show off by displaying his usual right-foot airball in a
dangerous situation. This allowed an oppo attacker clear through, and his solid
shot was placed wide and high to Tony's left. In a moment not unlike Snouter in
his own dreams, Tony palmed it around the post. Shortly after this PK was
overlapping down the right and got as far as the six yard box before running out
of puff. Considering that we had no subs, and PK's recent history of pulling
things, this was a move fraught with danger, but Tel was relieved to see the wee
gnome trot back uninjured. Tel himself was doing his best to impose a bit of
skill on the game by coming forward and helping the attack, but this was a
condemned game that not even he could save. Our
second goal was actually quite nice, and stood out in this game like a sober
person at a Microsoft Conference. Don gave Gordie a pass on the edge of the box,
and curled around to the left. To everyone's amazement, Gordie put a crisp pass
back to Don, who was clear on goal. The oppo keeper obligingly stayed on his
line as Don approached, but it was still a nice finish into the bottom corner.
At halftime it just got better - despite Boss advising during the week that in
his absence Gordie would be providing the drink, this proved not to be the case.
The
start of the second half saw a bit more urgency from the oppo, aided by the
wind. We had a few problems at the back, mainly caused by some sluggish marking
from the medically unfit full-backs. Si in the middle started to complain, a
sure sign that he was suffering too, and his mood didn't improve when a long
wind-assisted keepers kick bounced over his head into the path of an oppo
forward. Tony, Si and two of the oppo did a little square dance just inside the
box before the goal was scored with a shot that just snuck in under the bar.
That may sound like a good finish, but it was basically an open goal and a miss
would have been a disgrace. So unfortunately there was now a bit of a contest
on, if a rather poor one, and the oppo sensed a chance. The gist of their
encouragement for each other was that they had played badly but still had a
chance, which was pretty much the way we felt as well. We got some breathing
space after a free kick from out on the right found Spratty on the far side. He
put in a feeble shot which bounced back out to him, and buried his second
chance. The oppo got their second in forgettable circumstances. Probably. Who
knows. Or cares. The
last 15 minutes were a bit of a hassle, but nothing too alarming. The highlight
was probably Tony coming out to collect a corner and taking out Don instead. So a crucial game for us produced the desired result, but the lads were hardly elated. The whole game was very unTurtle-like, and a bit of a worry for the future of the team. No doubt this load of tripe masquerading as a match report is also a worry to regular readers. Sorry. |
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